Friday, May 3, 2013

The Dream Duality

I have always had "dream issues".

For whatever reason, I have had very vivid dreams for as long as I can remember. The good ones were cool, but the bad ones often had me walking in the dark across the house and saying "Momma...bad dream...move over"...up until I moved out :)

After that, the husband quickly learned the deal. I nudge, say "bad dream", he mumbles something about "it's not real", snuggle, repeat. Works like a charm.

However, I have been having a recurring dream that I can't shake. No hug or snuggle helps either, because I can't tell you if this is a good dream or a bad dream. I keep dreaming that Boog is talking.

During the dream I feel intense joy and relief. He is talking and there's always someone there I get to rejoice with: Boog's Daddy, Nana, Papa, a teacher or therapists from the school.

Last night's dream had Boog speaking in full sentences. I remember the dream, Boog was playing on this ENORMOUS playground set. It was seriously as big as a house. It was like a playground and a treehouse had a very exciting baby. Now why I would let Boog on this thing without me? No idea, it's a dream. Anyway, the thing collapses and I rush over to find Boog. He's fine and we walk away... That's when he begins to talk. Apparently the fall resulted in speech. I immediately take him to see my mom and watch them have a conversation. I told you they were vivid dreams.

Then I wake up. And again deal with the fact that the dream wasn't real, and my Boog can't say a word, much less full sentences. It's a happy dream, so you can't call it a nightmare... So what is it?

I also sort of don't want them to go away. Despite the pain of realizing the dream isn't true, the joy of hearing his voice is amazing. See my dilemma?

But Boog is doing very very well in school. He is saying "Ma" more now and I'm really starting to allow myself to think he really means me when he says it and it's not just a sound. Moms like me have to be very guarded when it comes to our kids progress. Unless something happens 50 times, is on video, and more than 10 people have seen it occur, we tend to think it's just a coincidence. It keeps us from getting let down if it isn't real, know what I mean?

So, we will keep pushing. Keep moving forward until those words come and I finally have dreams that my very talkative son is quiet :)

Sweet Dreams,
Boog's Mommy