Monday, May 4, 2015


I'm going to begin this post by defining two common words.

The first word is "dream". defines a dream as: 

a succession of images, thoughts, oremotions passing through the mind duringsleep.
the sleeping state in which this occurs.
an object seen in a dream.
an involuntary vision occurring to a personwhen awake.
a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake;daydreamreverie.
an aspiration; goal; aim:
A trip to Europe is his dream.
a wild or vain fancy.

The second word is "nightmare". defines a nightmare as:

a terrifying dream in which the dreamerexperiences feelings of helplessness,extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc.
a condition, thought, or experiencesuggestive of a nightmare:
the nightmare of his years in prison.
(formerly) a monster or evil spirit believed tooppress persons during sleep.

So, dreams occur when you are usually asleep and they can also be aspirations you think of while awake. A nightmare is a "terrifying" dream that makes you feel extremely unpleasant while asleep.

Those definitions I understand. Dreams and nightmares are easy to explain and define. You dream you won the lottery and can suddenly fly = good dream. You dream you are being audited by the IRS while ants continuously bite you = nightmare. Then what I sometimes have cannot be considered a dream or a nightmare. It is somewhere mysteriously between the two; a combination of my constant state of worry for my son and my subconscious mind trying to "fix" the situation while I sleep. You see, I dream that my son speaks to me. 

The dream varies each time, but some things occur in every one: Boog speaks, I can understand him clearly, his words are appropriate to the situation, I hear his voice, I am overjoyed, I quickly run to tell someone dear to me (my husband, my parents or sometimes a teacher/therapist). Everyone is relieved and happy. Boog is smiling. I am smiling. I have tears of joy. Elation doesn't describe how wonderful I feel. And then I wake up. For a few seconds I'm confused about reality, but it slowly sinks in. It was a dream. My son did not talk. He is well sleeping soundly beside me, and for that I am thankful, but I did not hear him form his first words. It was a dream. And one that takes me most of the following day to shake out of.

Last night's dream had me with Boog playing and he suddenly looks me in the eye and says "I love you, Daddy". It was so realistic because in the dream I knew he had inadvertently switched "Daddy" when he meant "Mommy". I was so excited I ran with Boog in my arms to tell my husband what had just happened. And then I woke up.

Dreams happen when you are asleep and can be good or bad. Nightmares make you feel terrible while you're asleep. What do you call a dream that makes you feel so much happiness that you are absolutely crushed inside when you wake up only to realize it never occurred? I don't think there is a word for that. There should be.